Emotional alchemy at its’ core is all about relating to one another. It is making ourselves vulnerable by seeing our failings so that we may come back to health. And although this may not be easy most of the time, the by-product is that every facet of our lives become more vivid and wholesome. In my experience I’ve seen an increase in the way that I connect with people and the way that they connect with me. Although this doesn’t leave out the occasional storyteller syndrome where day dreaming and inner monologue still takes place, but to be looked at and dissolved which is highly beneficial.
So what are some signs of a good relationship?
I’ll get to that but first let’s define what I mean by relationship. This has really nothing to do with agreement of exclusivity (although this may happen and that is perfectly fine), but just the general way in which we interact with each other. What I mean by relationship is any dynamic that you share with another human being.
Being who you are
Being who you are is important. If you can’t be honest with yourself and accept yourself, then you are bound to be dishonest with the one you are relating to with. The point of relating to others is sharing your perspective and enjoying the others perspective without trying to change them. If you’re trying to change someone, you no longer in relationship, instead you are trying to manipulate something that is not actually in your control.
Understanding that you are free to be who you are and the other is free to be who they are, is beautifully freeing. Understanding that each person is different but still meeting each other at their respective perspective makes for healthy relating.
Set Your Friend Free
Like I said above, letting someone be who they are and respecting and enjoying their respective is another one of those signs of a good relationship. See how this perspective lacks a sense of possession? When we don’t have to worry about changing someone to our ideas of them, jealousy or any other not so good feeling begins to dissolve. If you are currently working on this, it may not go away right away as it takes some momentum to stop our conditioning that has been there for probably some time. So be patient and kind with yourself.
No one said this kind of emotional alchemy is always easy…
Sometimes setting someone free also means out of your love for them, to let them go for a while, so that you can bring yourself back to health. If you feel possessiveness taking over this would be a good cue to be mindful and to start letting go of your ideas or roles.
Maintaining A Dynamic Interaction
We are always in a constant state of change, and so is everyone else we interact with. So knowing this and keeping a dynamic relating process is healthy. What dynamic may have worked when we last related to one another may not work this time. So being able to make that moment to moment gesture is another one of those signs of a good relationship. It will put both parties at easy and hopefully easy tensions between the two of not having to “one up the past you”
Instead if turns into a playful discovery of what this moment right now has in store for us.
Emotional alchemy may be hard work at some times, but it also makes the journey fun and interesting. If you follow this way of relating, I guarantee your potential for a stagnant relationship or a dead relationship will be almost non-existent.