Last night I had the pleasure of discussing this topic with a few wonderful ladies about what it means to be in good relationship with one another. This lead me to re-think some of the tricks that I have learned over my own journey to my way to happiness. Most of them comes from the stoic theme of be self content.
And it sounds a lot easier said then done (and in some cases it really is tough self work.)
Now I’m not saying it is cake… but i’ll get to that in a moment. Here however is what I want to talk a little bit about:
- Being self content through self love.
- Dropping your ideas about others to set them free.
- Letting go of your ideas about you to set you free.
Being self content through self love
This is one of those things that has been a close philosophy of mine.. and it actually has nothing to do with the other person or expectation of anyone. What I mean by this is that we are responsible for loving us, not anyone else. To expect someone else to hold our heart in a way that satisfies us is selfish.
We are the ones that have to live with ourselves and no matter of running away or distraction is going to help that. You can move to a new state, country, whatever change of external circumstance. That doesn’t get away with the fact that you still have you in that alone-ness at the end of the day.
This is scary for a lot of people because you now have to take responsibility for your past transgression and accept that fact that you went through that experience and that it is okay.
This process may be mentally painful but seeing and accepting brings about emotional well being. It isn’t until we accept our folly are we able to take steps to make ourselves better human beings. It also helps stop the momentum of any manipulative momentum we may have subconsciously learned from past experiences.
Dropping your ideas about others to set them free
This is another thing that will align you back into emotional well being. Our ideas about people are one of the main causes of relational conflict with one another. Because we gather an idea or check list of the way we think someone should act based on our views and filters that when they act out of OUR IDEA of their character, we show anger.
Do you notice how it is our idea of this person that gets us into trouble? It isn’t actually how that person is acting but our beliefs of “how things should be” rather then how things actually are.
Now I’m not saying this as an effort to say you shouldn’t have a moment to moment discernment. A light that you travel by in a sense. I’m saying quiet the opposite. Please do go by your discernment so that you can also respect yourself. If someone is walking all over you or manipulating you, then you should have the discernment to know this is the case and politely bow out of the persons life.
However to truly hear someone, dropping your ideas of who you want them and letting them be who they are is essential to your emotional well being.
Letting go of your ideas about you to see you free
And the same goes for you.
Feel free to let go of your ideas about you. You are constantly changing billions of times per moment. In each moment, you are not the same person you were just a moment ago just like you never step in the same river twice. Accepting yourself and moving into the understanding that the only constant is that you are always constantly changing is big.
What may have been true a moment ago can easily not be true in your next moment, you just have to start gathering momentum in a new direction and start traveling that course to make the change.
As Mahatma Ghandi famously said,
Be the change you want to see in the world.
And so rightly so. If you want to see a change in your reality, change your momentum, and that starts with just a thought. This is what makes emotional alchemy so great is that the thought alone is inherently empty but you begin to store energy into that thought, giving it momentum, and then building on that momentum to cause the change you want to see. These are the top three tricks I’ve learned on my way to happiness and emotional well being.
My Book Emotional Alchemist
If you like the article above, then you’re going to love my self-published book. It’s jam packed with stuff just like this, and includes a lot of other subjects that help toward emotional well being. Please support me and pick up a copy and support myemotional alchemy efforts!