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This seems to be a theme that plays a large role in the west style of relationship. We always seem to be trying to control our circumstance to have some kind of grounding. This kind of clinging causes much human suffering. Letting go of control is probably one of the most important things you can learn when relating to others.
Why is letting go important?
When we can’t see that our ideas may not be whats actually going on, then we cling to that idea even at the expense of our our happiness. Letting go of our ideas of ourselves and others is important because it allows true openness and honesty to blossom during relating. Trying to pin a stagnant checklist/idea to someone you love (or to yourself) is not conducive to emotional well being.
As soon as we have an idea of someone else, we no longer see them for who they are.
And this then leads to mis-understanding because of our insistence to clinging to OUR idea that they “should or shouldn’t” be a certain way. This is a selfish behavior which when seen through can be stopped through conscious response.
See how human suffering can sprout from just this need to hang on to our ideas? We not only shoot ourselves in the foot with this one, but we end up shooting the other in the foot as well, even though they are innocent!
What does letting go of control look like? Continue reading
Last night I had the pleasure of discussing this topic with a few wonderful ladies about what it means to be in good relationship with one another. This lead me to re-think some of the tricks that I have learned over my own journey to my way to happiness. Most of them comes from the stoic theme of be self content.
And it sounds a lot easier said then done (and in some cases it really is tough self work.)
Now I’m not saying it is cake… but i’ll get to that in a moment. Here however is what I want to talk a little bit about:
- Being self content through self love.
- Dropping your ideas about others to set them free.
- Letting go of your ideas about you to set you free.
I’m just like anyone else, trying my best to work on bettering who I am as a person. When it comes to emotional resilience, it can be a real struggle because there are a lot of things that tend to get in the way of dealing with our life events. What I’ve learned through my journey of emotional alchemy is that there are some key principles that can allow the process of the heart to open in ways that can bypass logic (most of the time it has to.) which allows us to fully integrate an experience, surrender, and let it go. Here are the things I’m going to talk about.
- Dropping the idea that our thoughts are important.
- Focusing more on emotion then on thought.
- How to Incorporate this emotional alchemy into everyday life.
- Meditation of the heart to emotional well being.